Almost ... did it again

There was a slight change in my life lately;
Intensely thinking about someone like a fall-in-love teenager;
One who has characteristics told;
Exactly ten-year older than me;
Ever married;
Has parents and etc

It made me so happy, and
ALMOST did it again - easily fell, cannot differentiate between admiration and true love feeling
Two days ago, after my lunch talk, on my way home
A sudden conscience stroke me up
Ever talked about a son,
Not necessarily comes from my womb, right?
What if the one already has one, that he is not left alone by his spouse?
Ha Ha Ha
I was happy, though, that it came right on time
So I won't hurt anyone's feeling anymore
Will try to create an invisible boundary between me and J I J
I have to be as objective as possible before my time arrived
I am sorry, J I J, for using you as my affectionate object
However, I do admire you, you are so tough living this life after what you have gone through
I am happy to have the chance of meeting you in this life